Back to School: When the Same Change Feels Completely Different
September 2026 | by Richard Weller
September brings a familiar change of rhythm.
The long summer holidays come to an end, school bags reappear, alarm clocks are set again and families begin adjusting to earlier mornings and more structured days. For some children, the return to school is exciting. They are ready to see their friends, meet a new teacher or begin a new year.
For others, the same transition can feel very different.
One child may become anxious in the days leading up to school. Another may complain of stomach aches each morning. Some become irritable or unusually emotional at home. Others appear to manage the return perfectly well, only to become exhausted or overwhelmed a week or two later.
As a homeopath, this difference interests me.
The event itself may be identical. It is the way each individual experiences and responds to it that can be completely different.
More than simply "school anxiety"
When a child is struggling with the return to school, it is tempting to focus immediately on the obvious question: are they anxious?
Sometimes they are. But anxiety is only one possible response to change.
For one child, the hardest part may be separation from a parent after weeks spent closely together during the summer. For another, it is the sudden loss of freedom and return to routine. Another may enjoy school but find the noise, social interaction and constant demands exhausting.
There are also children who cope remarkably well while they are actually at school.
They get through the lessons, follow instructions, socialise and appear outwardly fine. Then they come home and everything falls apart.
Parents sometimes describe a child who walks through the front door and immediately becomes angry, tearful or completely exhausted. What looks like difficult behaviour may simply be the point at which they no longer have to hold everything together.
This can be particularly relevant for children who are sensitive to noise, crowds, social demands or changes in routine.
The body can respond too
Not every child expresses difficulty with a transition through their emotions.
Sometimes the body does the talking.
A child may develop headaches, stomach pains, nausea, disturbed sleep or changes in appetite around the beginning of term. An old physical symptom may reappear. Some children seem to pick up every infection circulating during the first few weeks back at school.
This is one of the reasons I am interested not simply in what symptom has appeared, but in what was happening around the time it began.
When did it start? What changed? How has the child themselves been since then?
And perhaps most importantly, how are they experiencing what is happening?
The same situation, different children
Imagine three children beginning a new school.
The first is tearful before leaving home and desperately wants their parent to stay. They need reassurance and closeness and may feel much better once they know somebody familiar is nearby.
The second says very little about being worried. On the morning of school, however, they feel sick, need the toilet repeatedly and seem almost paralysed by anticipation.
The third appears confident beforehand and may even be excited about starting. After several days, though, they become increasingly irritable and exhausted. By Friday evening they want to shut themselves away and speak to nobody.
We could describe all three as having difficulty adjusting to school.
But they aren't having the same experience.
And this is where the individual approach of homeopathy becomes particularly useful.
Looking at the individual rather than the label
Parents sometimes ask me what the homeopathic remedy is "for anxiety", "for school refusal" or "for stomach aches".
There isn't one.
Two children with apparently identical symptoms may need completely different remedies because we are looking at the whole pattern rather than matching a remedy to the name of a condition.
For example, Pulsatilla may come to mind when a child becomes particularly clingy and tearful around separation and seeks comfort and reassurance.
Gelsemium can be relevant when anticipation produces physical symptoms such as weakness, trembling, heaviness or an upset stomach.
Argentum nitricum may be considered when anticipation creates hurried, restless anxiety, perhaps accompanied by digestive disturbance.
Ignatia may be appropriate where change has brought a strong sense of loss, disappointment or emotional upset.
But these aren't formulas.
A child who cries before school does not automatically need Pulsatilla, any more than a child with diarrhoea before an exam automatically needs Gelsemium or Argentum nitricum.
The interesting question is always: what is distinctive about this particular child's response?
That is what guides the prescription.
Sometimes the reaction comes later
One aspect of the September transition that can easily be missed is that difficulties do not necessarily appear on the first day.
Some children cope very well initially.
There is novelty, excitement and perhaps adrenaline carrying them through the first few days. Then the cumulative demands begin to show.
A parent might contact me towards the end of September saying, "The first two weeks were absolutely fine. I thought we had cracked it. But suddenly everything has gone backwards."
It hasn't necessarily gone backwards.
The child may simply have reached the limit of what they can comfortably manage.
This is why looking at patterns over time can be so useful. A difficult evening after the first day of school tells us something. A child who gradually becomes more depleted over three weeks tells us something different.
And it isn't only younger children
September transitions continue long after primary school.
Moving to secondary school can bring a huge change in independence, organisation, social expectations and sensory demands.
Sixth form brings another shift.
And then there is university.
For a young person leaving home for the first time, excitement and homesickness can exist alongside each other. Someone can desperately want the independence of university and still find the reality of leaving their familiar environment difficult.
Again, the individual response matters.
One young person may become homesick and want constant contact with home. Another throws themselves into social life but becomes increasingly exhausted. Someone else may struggle with sleep, appetite or concentration without immediately connecting those changes with the transition they are going through.
These responses aren't necessarily signs that something has gone wrong.
Transitions require adjustment.
Sometimes people simply need a little more support while that adjustment takes place.
Allowing time to decompress
Homeopathic treatment is only one part of how I think about these situations.
Sometimes quite simple changes can make an enormous difference.
A child who has spent six hours surrounded by people may not need questions as soon as they walk through the door. They may need food, quiet and half an hour alone.
Another child may benefit from knowing exactly what is happening the following morning.
For some, getting uniform, bags and breakfast organised the night before removes a surprising amount of stress.
And some children need fewer demands outside school during the first few weeks of term, rather than immediately returning to a full timetable of clubs, activities and social arrangements.
There can be a tendency to think that because a child can manage something, it isn't costing them anything to do so.
Those are not always the same thing.
A useful time to observe
The beginning of a new school year can actually tell us a great deal about a child.
How do they respond to anticipation? How do they cope with change? Do they need company when overwhelmed or want to be left alone? Does stress affect their sleep, digestion, appetite or behaviour?
Do they struggle beforehand but recover quickly once the event begins? Or do they cope initially and react afterwards?
These details build a much richer picture than simply saying that a child is "anxious about school".
And that richer picture is exactly what we are looking for in homeopathy.
The same September, experienced differently
Thousands of children will walk through school gates this September.
From the outside, they are all doing broadly the same thing.
Inside, their experiences may be completely different.
One is excited. One is frightened. One is exhausted. One has a stomach ache. One cannot wait to get away from their parents. Another wishes they could stay at home.
Understanding those differences, rather than trying to fit every child into the same description, can help us support them more effectively.
For me, that is also one of the most valuable principles of homeopathy.
We don't only ask what is happening. We ask how it is happening for this particular person.
And sometimes that question changes everything.
Richard Weller LCHE RSHom
All illustrations by Richard Weller